The CatholiCity Message

Volume X, Number 4 – August 24, 2006

"No amount of pious training or pious culture will protect the faithful, or preserve them from the contamination of the age, if they are left inferior to non-Catholics in secular learning and intellectual development."
Orestes Brownson

Dear CatholiCity Citizen,

Another school year begins! Welcome to the CatholiCity Message, all of it good for most, some of it good for some, and none of it good for none. Exactly what is the Fertility Gap? The Big Lie of Laundry. The Best School Folder. Insights on Islam. A prayer, of course. Plus, a return of Two-Part Recipes for those who liked Pepperoni Poppers! As we like to say in the Catholic 'hood, let's roll.

LAUNDRY: THE BIG LIE
Perhaps the biggest lie about taking care of kids is that the word "laundry" means one task. Yet as most moms know from hard experience, laundry consists of an almost endless succession of distinct actions. Here is an incomplete list, just for fun:

Gather clothes (and towels!) from multiple locations
Carry baskets to washing machine
Sort clothes by person(s)
Sort by color
Sort by type of clothing
Treat pesky stains with special stain-fighting product (and often: delay before loading)
Load into washer (by type or color or person)
Measure and add detergent/softener
Start washer (often, this step is forgotten!)
Wait for up to 30 minutes
Come back to washing machine
Unload wet clothes from washer (on time!)
Put the SECOND load into washer, add detergent, start washer
Sort wet clothes by permanent press, cotton, what's needed right now, etc.
Load wet clothes into dryer
Start dryer (again, often this step if forgotten!)
Wait for up to 60 minutes
Return to the dryer
Remove first load from dryer
Sometimes: clean out the lint screen
Put Second load of wet clothes into dryer, start dryer
Accept without despair there is never enough space for the next 4 steps
Sort clothes by person(s)
Sort by type of clothes
Fold clothes
Iron clothes that need ironing
Put clothes into basket
Bring clothes back to multiple rooms
Place clothes/towels in dressers, closets, shelves in multiple locations

For some mysterious reason, our research reveals that many folks get bogged down in the final step after folding the clothes. Reports abound of folded clothes sitting on a table or in a basket of the laundry room for days on end. The last "step" of putting the clothes away, after all, is actually several separate actions in several different rooms. Remember to take a minute tonight to thank the one in your home who does the "laundry."

According to McDoogle's Second Law of Laundry Dynamics, it is not possible in our universe to have a house where all clothes are clean and put away without soiled clothes mustering like enemy soldiers somewhere else in the house.

Yet despite the never-ending drudgery, doing laundry is ultimately a very satisfying task. There is a special feeling of joy we feel when our children don clean clothes. Precisely because it has to do with taking that which is soiled, wrinkled, and unusable, doing laundry is a lot like going to Confession, but with physical, rather than spiritual, penance. Dirty to clean. Sinner to saint. Restoration! If you happen to be a guy who rarely does laundry, it is not unlike the feeling you enjoy when taking in the view of your freshly-mowed lawn.

SUNNI AND SHIA ISLAM?
We're not too proud to admit that much of what goes on the Middle East confuses us, even on a basic level. Do you know, for example, where Iran is geographically in relation to Iraq and Afghanistan/Pakistan? (Answer: right smack in the middle with Iraq on the "left" and Afghanistan and Pakistan on the right.) Do you know the difference between the Sunni and Shi'a/Shi'ite strains of Islam, or how and when the rift began? Between Arabs and Persians? Here's an article that addresses some of these basic questions (don't forget to come back here when you're finished reading it):

http://www.opinionjournal.com/la/?id=110008829

AMEX AND DISCOVER AND MARY
The Mary Foundation (free Catholic CDs) and Saint Jude Media (free Catholic novels) recently upgraded our online ordering systems to take Discover and American Express credit cards. If you have either of these cards, would you do us the favor of ordering one CD (for two minutes and one dollar)? May we suggest the classic "The Truth About Mary" by Marcus Grodi and Patrick Madrid:

https://secure.catholicity.com/mary/

ANOTHER TWO INGREDIENT SNACK RECIPE
Ladle a few tablespoons of your favorite salad dressing into a snack bowl. Add a small handful of any of the following ingredients: olives or mushroom or artichoke hearts. A healthful, sugar free quick fix.

JESUS THE MAN, PART II
This past week during daily Mass, we heard the famous Catholic "proof text" gospel from John 6:53: "Jesus said to them, I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you." Please, if you need him, He is there in the tabernacle of every Catholic Church. Sit with him. Speak to him. He is a good listener. And, at Mass, "eat" his flesh so you can have life in you. Enough said.

THE FERTILITY GAP
According to the amazing article below, the Democratic Party is apparently losing one half of one percent (.05%) of their voters every year due to the fact that politically liberal voters have significantly fewer children. This is also a long-term trend, the seeds of which were sown (or not sown, depending on how you look at it) when liberal-types decided to dramatically decrease their family sizes (or skip having children altogether) in the 1960s and 1970s.

One half of one percent doesn't sound like much until one reflects that a 2% voting shift between the four-year presidential election cycle can transform a swing state from blue to red. 1960s Daddy Democrat might have voted for McGovern or Carter, but 2000s Junior Democrat can't vote for Kerry or Hillary because he does not exist. Here's the article:

http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110008831

THREE SHORT QUOTATIONS

God only asks you to do your best.
R.H. Benson

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?
Karl Kraus

Praying is singing half.
G.K. McBrien

PREVENT SCHOOL DOCUMENT LOSS
Grammar school kids find ways to destroy mere paper folders, and Appleseed's Law dictates that the more important the document or form your child is bringing home from school for you to read or sign, the more likely it will fall out of their folder before it reaches their backpack. From happy experience, we've come to love a simple, high-impact plastic folder from Mead with clever "bungee cords" to secure it closed called, appropriately, the Bungee folder. It's available in most stores. You can take a look at it here:

http://www.mead.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product3_10051_10006_126138_-1 _false_10051

LET US PRAY FOR SCHOOL CHILDREN
Let's pray for our children–for our sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, or grandchildren–as they begin another school year, with the most appropriate prayer for children, the Our Father:

"Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen."

Thanks for being a part of our work. We remain...

With Christ,

Your Friends at CatholiCity