Winning the World, One Friend at a Time

by Father John McCloskey

You hold in your hands a magnificent new book on the New Evangelization of Catholicism throughout the world—and one that comes most opportunely, as the Church completes the Year of Faith commemorating the beginning of the Second Vatican Council and the publication of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Philip Lawler has chosen to concentrate on the thriving global Catholic institutional initiatives that have flourished, particularly beginning with the singular pontificate of Blessed John Paul II.

However, as I like to put it, "if all politics is local then all Catholic apostolate is essentially personal." One must convert to Christ daily to be granted the graces to change the world, and generally changing the world takes place one person at a time.

As the Catechism reminds us, winning converts should be a constant concern for all Catholics: "The true apostle is on the lookout for occasions of announcing Christ by word, either to unbelievers… or to the faithful." (#905) How then should we go about it? God pours out his saving grace in many ways, but he normally requires, and we could even say desires, the willing collaboration of his sons and daughters in this joyful task. The famous Catholic philosopher (and convert) Dietrich von Hildebrand said that we should look upon all people we encounter as Catholics in re (in fact) or in spe (potentially). I agree.

Admit it: Don't you from time to time think about sharing with your neighbor, your friend, your family member, your colleague, the joy that is in your heart, the fullness of our faith in the Catholic Church? Perhaps some of you have had the wonderful experience of being the godparent or sponsor of a friend whom, by God's grace, you have guided into the Church. You know then the joy of being God's instrument.

This delight is always a cause for holy celebration, but particularly in the present threatened circumstances of our culture. Has there ever in the Christian era been a more joyless, aimless, lonely society than our own, one which appears to have gained the whole world but has forgotten its own soul? On the other hand, have there ever been three consecutive Roman pontiffs who have so incessantly and hopefully proclaimed the Gospel in all its fullness, addressing the fallen yet redeemed world's hopes and anxieties so completely?

The infant Church's constant growth through its first three centuries of religious persecution occurred through the witness and personal influence of thousands of Christians and their families. In the centuries following Constantine's edict of toleration, Christian ideals lived out in the world gradually transformed the West into the form of Christian culture that we know as the Middle Ages. In our own time, in the wake of the titanic struggles of ideas and ideologies of the last two centuries (Darwinism, Marxism, Freudianism, and so on), we are called to do something similar. In fact, the partial success of these various heresies and ideologies has been due in part to a Catholic laity largely "missing in action" in the apostolic sense through the last several centuries, ignorantly content to let the clergy and religious do the "heavy lifting."

Here I aim to give some insights, largely based upon my own experience, into how we can more effectively spread the gift of faith through example and friendship: what Blessed John Cardinal Newman referred to as the "apostolate of personal influence."

A New Springtime

Pope John Paul believed that our entry into the third millennium marked our crossing the "threshold of hope" into "a new springtime for the Church." If this is to happen, it will depend ultimately on the apostolate of millions of persons and families. He went on to say in his letter on missionary activity: "Christ, whose mission we continue, is the ‘witness' par excellence and the model of all Christian witness. The first form of witness is the very life of the missionary, of the Christian family, and of the ecclesial community."

We may refer to this sharing of our faith as evangelization, giving witness, et cetera. I prefer the word used most often by the Conciliar fathers in this regard, apostolate: The second Vatican Council tells us: "The individual apostolate, flowing generously from its source in a truly Christian life…admits of no substitutes. Regardless of status, all lay persons (including those who have no opportunity or possibility for collaboration in associations) are called to this type of apostolate and obliged to engage in it."

In an apostolic exhortation on the laity by John Paul II, the point could not be made clearer:

The entire mission of the Church, then, is concentrated and manifested in evangelization… In fact, the "good news" is directed to stirring a person to a conversion of heart and life and a clinging to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior; to disposing a person to receive Baptism and the Eucharist and to strengthen a person in the prospect and realization of new life according to the Spirit.

In short, the buck stops with each one of us. "Every disciple is personally called by name; no disciple can withhold making a response: 'Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel.'" (I Cor 9:16)

A few words of caution. We are not speaking of proselytism (in the pejorative sense). That is to say, our sharing, witnessing, and so on must have absolutely nothing to do with coercion, or lack of respect for the "freedom of the children of God." Quite the contrary: we realize that only God's grace can effect a conversion and that pressure, other than our prayer, sacrifice, good example, and friendship, would not only in the long term certainly be counterproductive but would also not respect "the dignity of the human person" so central to the teachings of the Second Vatican Council and of Blessed John Paul II.

How then do we "make" converts? First of all, we don't; God does. What then is our first step in proposing that someone consider becoming a Catholic? Naturally the desire will flow out of our prayer life. We come into contact with dozens if not hundreds of people in the course of our daily lives each month, ranging from dearest family members and intimate friends to the butcher, baker, and candlestick maker. We look at them and ask ourselves: "Could this person be open to our Faith?" If the answer is yes, on to the next step.

Why Not Ask?

It is said that the most effective way to raise money for a good cause is to simply ask for it. The same may be applied to our situation. The question "Have you ever thought of becoming a Catholic?" addressed to many people over the course of our life, will certainly produce not only converts but also interesting and thought-provoking conversations and new personal relationships. You may have to practice this line in front of a mirror a few times, just as you did before asking out your first date. You generally will be surprised at how flattered, if somewhat surprised, people are by the question.

Naturally we are not approaching perfect strangers. Indeed, if we are not in the process of developing a deep and lasting friendship with the potential new member of the Church, then our question lacks authenticity and will be rightfully judged as impertinent and insincere.

When you pose that question, the great majority of people will reply that you are the first person who has ever asked them. More than a few will add that they have been waiting for someone to ask them that question all their lives! A few will react negatively, but after all, not all "have eyes to see or ears to hear." We "shake the dust off our feet" and go on. We are driven not by the need for success, but by the "love of Christ that compels us." And we may eventually be surprised after the passage of time, even many years, that people come back to us looking for answers because we once had the courage to offer them the faith.

We are challenging people to consider making the most significant decision they will ever make in their lives, infinitely more important than the choice of school, profession, or spouse. It is essential that you get to know them well, particularly their religious background, if any, so you will "know where they are coming from." Of use in this regard would be a thorough reading of Separated Brethren, a survey of Protestant, Anglican, Eastern Orthodox, and other denominations in the U.S. by William J. Whalen. By engaging in conversation on the question of religious faith, you will be inviting your friend, and committing yourself, to go deep below the surface of everyday trivialities into the heart of the matter: Why are we here? What is truth? Is there a right and wrong? Is there a God? An afterlife? Is Jesus Christ God? Did He found a Church during His lifetime? If so, which one? Do we need to belong to it to be saved?

Be Prepared

Of course, you need to be not only willing to discuss and answer these queries but prepared to do so. "Be ready always with an answer to everyone who asks a reason for the hope that is in you." (I Peter, 3:15) To be fully prepared is the work of a lifetime, but that does not excuse us from evangelizing while we learn on the job. Remember, no matter how little we know, our friends usually know less. And we at least know where to go for the answers. In fact, a lot of our catechetical work with our potential convert friends will simply take the form of referring them to the best sources.

Obviously we should have a good grasp of the New Testament and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, our fundamental texts. However, ideally we should also slowly but surely read and study the great English and American apologists: John Henry Newman, C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, Robert Hugh Benson, and Ronald Knox and the more modern masters, Frank Sheed and Peter Kreeft. Many of their works are in print. It is also useful to become familiar with the magisterial teachings of the Pope for the most current guidance on matters of faith and morals.

Reviewing our own preparation leads directly to the question of recommending reading for friends who express an interest in our faith. An increasing number of people simply don't understand the basic vocabulary of what it means to believe. For friends interested in an intellectual approach, an excellent brief volume is Belief and Faith by the famous German philosopher Josef Pieper. He draws heavily on Blessed Cardinal Newman's much more complex Grammar of Assent.

Many people even today need a book to awaken their interest in Christianity or help make Christianity "reasonable" and understandable. Several books come immediately to mind. Both Orthodoxy and The Everlasting Man by Chesterton will stimulate the reader. I am thinking also of a basic primer, A Map of Life by Frank Sheed, and C.S. Lewis' famous Mere Christianity. Most fundamental, of course, is the New Testament. An excellent version with ascetical commentary is The Navarre Bible. And I recommend a good life of Christ (try those by Alban Goodier, Fulton Sheen, Giuseppe Riccioti, or Romano Guardini). After all, your friends need to meet the man if they are ever to join His Church.

Next is a good catechism, to help them come to know the Church and her teachings. In the last few decades there have been many excellent new ones or updates of older ones based on the sound teaching of the Church updated to reflect the Second Vatican Council and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Authors to look for include Ronald Lawler, Leo Trese, John Hardon, and John Noll.

I recommend that you whet people's appetite for conversion with a book or two of conversion stories, such as Spiritual Journeys (Pauline Publications) or Surprised by Truth (Basilica Press). Our friends will likely be drawn to read about the contemporary conversion stories of so many people drawn to the faith from such varied backgrounds and are likely to find at least part of their own story in one of these narratives.

Don't forget, either, classic spiritual autobiographies like those of St. Augustine, Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman, Thomas Merton, and Malcolm Muggeridge—and the more recent offering by the late former abortionist and convert to the Catholic faith Dr. Bernard Nathanson, The Hand of God (Life Cycle Books). They have changed millions of hearts and minds.

You should also familiarize your friends with the richness of the history of the Church, where they can see the continuity of the faith through the apostolic succession and read the dramatic story of evangelization through the centuries with its ups and downs. Here I would recommend Msgr. Philip Hughes's Popular History of the Church (Macmillan) for a short synopsis, and the first five volumes of the magisterial History of Christendom by Warren Carroll (Christendom College Press). The latter volumes read like novels, are painstakingly researched, and reveal the Church in all its heights and depths, complete with her saints and her sinners.

An important part of our work of introducing our friends to the faith will be exposing them to the beauty of the Catholic liturgy and to the art, literature, and music of Catholic inspiration. Accompanying them to Holy Mass and other liturgical events, such as the celebration of solemn benediction, a baptism, a wedding, the Easter vigil, an episcopal consecration, the ordination of new priests, or a rosary pilgrimage to a shrine of the Virgin, can bring them to a deep appreciation of the incarnate aspect of our faith and its sacramental nature. To listen to Gregorian chant (today so surprisingly popular) or the great classical compositions centered on the Mass, the Psalms, or various events in the life of Christ and our Lady, will also draw them closer to the heart of the Church.

Those who love great literature can be deeply moved by an introduction to the great Catholic authors, starting with Dante, continuing on down the centuries to Alessandro Manzoni and Henryk Sienkiewicz in the 19th century, and to Sigrid Undset, Evelyn Waugh, Flannery O'Connor, George Bernanos, François Mauriac, Walker Percy, and Shusako Endo in the 20th. These artists each, in his own way, captures the divine in the human.

But let's be realistic. Not all of your friends, by any means, will be receptive to so heavily intellectual an approach. You may need to be much more selective in what you recommend: pamphlets rather than books, Catholic hymns rather than symphonies, a more contemporary (although sound) version of the New Testament rather than the Douay-Rheims, the stained glass in your parish church rather than Chartres. Listen to their needs and their questions and try to satisfy them. Time spent in prayer with them or a visit to poor or elderly people may prove much more influential in drawing them towards the Church than any possible reading you might give them.

Teamwork and Persistence

Let's not forget the parish and the priest. After all, if all goes well, your friend will likely spend the rest of his life normally worshipping in a parish setting. If your friend has not been baptized, the Church normally asks that the budding catechumen be enrolled in the R.C.I.A. program (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) in his local parish, which will take him through a month-by-month program of initiation that culminates normally in Baptism during the Easter Vigil (hopefully with you there as his godparent). If he has been baptized, he will make his first Confession and then receive the sacrament of Confirmation and first Holy Communion within a Mass on Easter or at another time.

If possible, it is useful and proper to establish a team approach in dealing with your friends. Find a prayerful, zealous (they really are synonymous) priest with whom you can work and triangulate—which is to say that both of you working together can offer your insights and wisdom, your prayer and sacrifice to your friend. The priest may be able, perhaps, to enter better into some areas that you cannot. He will also be able to advise you about the best way and moment for your friend to be incorporated in the Church, taking careful notice of personal circumstances.

What happens if over a reasonable amount of time your friend just doesn't "get it?" He claims he doesn't see it. His difficulties with Christ and the teachings of the Church still result in doubt. His family, parents, and spouse present what appear to be insuperable obstacles. Do you throw him overboard in order to sail off for other prizes? You wouldn't think of it! The answer is prayer, persistence, and patience. The violence of your prayer (remember Who is in charge of this operation) will eventually bear him away. Your persistence and constancy in true friendship will eventually win him over by showing that your love is unconditional. Remember: you may be the one person in his life who is interested only in his salvation. No ulterior motives of any sort. By patience we show our realization that conversion takes place at God's pace, not a minute sooner or later. The conversion may not happen until he is on his deathbed, and you may witness it from heaven.

Or else he does "get it," and enters the Church. What now? Naturally your apostolic efforts will be focusing on the next person, or perhaps you are already dealing with several people at the same time. However, don't forget your newborn Catholic friend. He is just a very young child in the faith, taking his first tottering steps into a bright new world that will have its storms and shadows. Some who regard Catholicism and his conversion to it, in Chesterton's words, as "a nuisance and a new and a dangerous thing" will surround him. He needs nurturing, your encouragement, your friendship, and your support.

St. Josemaria Escriva says, "Sanctification is the work of a lifetime." As your friend's godfather, sponsor, or guide, you have to be with him every step of the way. Perhaps you will introduce him to other institutions and spiritualities of the Church that can further his spiritual progress. Whatever the path in the Church he takes, he will be eternally grateful to you. And you in your turn will echo the words of a famous French convert and poet, Paul Claudel, who said, "Tell him his only duty is to be joyful."

First appeared as the foreword in When Faith Goes Viral, by Philip Lawler.