The CatholiCity Message

Volume V, Number 9 – May 11, 2001

Dear CatholiCity Citizen,

There's something about summer weather that encourages us to keep these messages short. But not today. Hah! We have lots of stuff today.

1. FIFTEEN MINUTES, PART SOCK
It was the cheesy "artist" Andy Warhol who said that every American would eventually receive fifteen minutes of fame. Our reply is...

So? There are better ways to spend 15 minutes than to bask in the fleeting limelight. In fact, it takes fifteen minutes to pray a decent Rosary, and for those of you who haven't heard about it, there's an effort to encourage one million people to pray one Rosary for the end of surgical and chemical abortion tomorrow, Saturday 12 May, during the same hour of the day: 9am EST, 8am CST, 7am MST, and 6am PST. We're gonna crank one out ourselves.

For those of you who are not morning persons, especially you West Coast folks, we've always held that God isn't a bureaucrat, and we don't think He would mind if you prayed it when you get up in the morning. We won't get any fame for this–but even if abortion doesn't end in this country immediately, any Rosaries prayed will no doubt supply the grace needed to convince some mothers to carry their babies to term.

2. FIFTEEN MINUTES, PART TUBE
Fifteen minutes of fame? Novelist Bud Macfarlane got a whole hour of the stuff on the Jeff Cavins show, which many of you watched (afterwards Mr. Macfarlane was told that their phone lines melted down during the call-in part of the show–thanks.). It apparently was a lot of fun, but we thought you might enjoy reading what it's like to be on EWTN. Mr. Macfarlane was kind enough to share his experiences:

"The coolest part was not (at least for me) meeting Mother Angelica or being on TV, but staying in Madonna House, a standard 3 bedroom home just behind the studios where TV guests stay. I got to share a bathroom with Scott Hahn (not literally, of course, but he was on Mother Angelica Live the night before I was on Jeff's show, and was bunking down the hall), raid the refrigerator with news anchor Raymond Arroyo, and watch a hockey game on TV with Jeff in the living room. I've run into to all these guys before over the years, but it was fun to just hang out, which is one of my Life Skill Specialties."

"As for the television part, the studio is surprising small. Only a few dozen people can fit into the audience section. I asked the people on the right side to pray to my guardian angel, and those on the left to pray to Saint Therese the Little Flower, my patron. Jeff showed me just before the show started that the 'bricks' on his coffee shop wall of the set are made of thin plastic and the authentic-looking cappuccino machine behind us was made of cut up trash cans, shower curtain rings, macaroni strainers, and other household items cobbled together and then spray-painted gold. I doubt there are other TV networks where a Franciscan brother in a cassock applies your make-up and then calls out Three, Two, One...! before the cameras roll. All the production folks there were quite professional and very helpful.

As for being on TV itself, I believe I achieved my primary goal of not embarrassing my mother. Anyway, I was completely at ease: television is a much easier medium than radio, speaking at conferences, or even writing a letter. You just sit there and have a conversation. Jeff made it easy. It's one of those 'If I could do it, you could do it' kind of things."

Thanks, Mr. Macfarlane.

PRAY WITH 25,000 CATHOLICITY CITIZENS
Let's ask our mother, Mary, echoing the words of the Angel Gabriel, to end abortion in the U.S., Canada, and around the world, to convince a few mom's to choose life, right now. "Dear Mary, please secure from Your Son, the Source of All Life, the graces needed to convince every mom who is considering an abortion at this every moment to choose life for their sons and daughters. Bring into their lives the material and emotional support they need to do the right thing, the loving thing, the sacrificial thing. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen."

POPULAR DEVOUT CATHOLIC PICK-UP LINES

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a
First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?"

"Betcha I can guess your confirmation name!"

"Do you confess here often?"

"You don't like the Culture of Death?
Wow, we have so much in common!"

"You want to have children, too?
I'm shooting for double digits!"

"Let's split–my Eucharist Adoration Chapel or yours?"

"You've got stunning, scapular-brown eyes."

DOG JOKE
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, sidles up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

FAMILY QUOTES

"God gives you the back to bear the burden."
Mom, Mother of Eleven
Grandmother of 32 Going-On 36 Grandchildren

"Alcohol shortens the mind and lengthens the tongue."
Our Scottish Grandpa

"It's not luck, it's skill."
My brother, age 12, as he whips our 16 year-old butt yet
again at bumper pool, backgammon, checkers, bocci, jacks,
kickball–you name it.

MEANINGLESS TRIVIA OF THE WEEK

-All U.S. presidents have worn glasses.
-Duck quacks don't echo, and no one knows why not.
-Betsy Ross is the only real person to be on a Pez Dispenser.
-Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
-The only word in English that is its own antonym is "cleave" (you can cleave/cut something in half; a man cleaves to his wife)
-Our Spellcatcher suggested we replace the word "Macfarlane" above with "Machiavellian."

Thanks for reading, and for praying with us.

Yours in Christ,

Your Friends at CatholiCity