Most of You Will Laugh
Volume XXIV, Number 8 – April 17, 2020
Dear CatholiCity Citizen,
Hello again. It's me.
Yes, after an investment of less than three dollars, today I have the honor of bringing you the world mega-premier How It's Made at CatholiCity video absolutely nobody has been asking for. Most of you will laugh. Everyone will cringe.
Produced exclusively for CatholiCity Citizens, I absolutely forbid you to share this video with anyone after you watch it. Actually, it's a clever 4-minute parody of the famous How It's Made television show, only this time showing what goes into making our new Coronavirus Prayer Cards and Miraculous Medals. It features exactly three gags (count 'em yourself) and a cameo showcasing my amazing physique.
The alcoholic, fallen-away daughter of a CatholiCity Citizen first gave up drinking, and then, after volunteering to pray the prayer and carry the medal, turned away from drugs completely this past Easter Sunday. Thank you, Immaculate Mary! (Please email your own miracle stories.)
Pish PoshWhen I arranged long before Lent to have 30 Gregorian Masses offered for your intentions and the souls of your departed loved ones at the national Divine Mercy Shrine, how many of us realized how important those Masses would be?
Travel bans? Pish. Locked church doors? Posh. If I have to, I will walk to Massachusetts to hand deliver your intentions outside the wall closest to the altar for the first Mass on May 1st, Feast of Saint Joseph. (I'll provide details in a future message so you can join me if you live in the area.)
A Giant Pile of YesI am often humbled to receive requests from you asking for permission to reprint the hundreds of prayers I have composed for this Message over the past quarter century (for your social media groups, friends, bulletins). Yes, you always have my permission. Yes, an acknowledgement for www.CatholiCity.com is cool. Yes, I'll make a up a new prayer at the end of this Message!
The Beard of a Saint?!I possess a very rare first-class relic of Saint Maximilian Kolbe which I touch to your Miraculous Medals. "Uncle Max" is the spiritual father of CatholiCity.com, and when the friars at Niepokalanów ("The City of the Immaculata") in Poland discovered all the holy trouble we were up to in America, they gave gave this treasure to me.
Here's the thing: Saint Maximilian was cremated after being killed in Auschwitz so there are no bones. Decades earlier a fellow Franciscan who worked as a barber at a friary in Rome, convinced he was in the presence of a saint, saved Kolbe's beard and hair clippings; he even defied a superior's instruction to destroy the clippings. Maybe he wasn't a good friar for disobeying a superior; I'm just glad he had a little New Jersey in his soul.
Having Tough Times Financially?
I know a growing number of you are out of work because of the Coronavirus (or were experiencing financial problems even before it struck). Again, I want you to know that the gift you can give--daily prayers for all who distribute, read, hear, or wear our materials--is absolutely priceless.
Rock beats scissors and grace beats money, right? Your prayers inspire others who are blessed financially to support us.
Please, please, especially if you live in the United States, do not hesitate to order our free books, CDs, booklets or a few of the new Coronavirus Prayer Medals by mail (print out an order form here) even if you cannot make a financial donation. Over the past three decades we have literally shipped tens of thousands of packages will with tools for evangelization to people who can only afford to donate prayers.
We need you. Here is our mailing address:
CatholiCity
PO Box 26101
Fairview Park OH 44126
If you are in Canada or overseas, don't be shy about making the minimum online donation for materials (a ridiculously low $1 each for books, packs of booklets, CDs) and just cover shipping, which pops up automatically. We need you too!
By George! The Aussies and Kiwis are kicking the tar out of England, Ireland, and Scotland and giving the Canucks a run for it in recent weeks!
Have you ever wondered why I rarely tell you about my own novels? Honestly, because of a wicked false humility (which is the highest and most hidden form of the worst vice, pride), that's why.
God gave me a gift. I just wrote stories I wanted to read filled with people I wanted to hang out with. I am truly thrilled a couple million readers have enjoyed or been inspired by them. Nothing--nothing--makes my day more than to hear from a reader how God's grace worked through the novels to help them convert to Catholicism, become more faithful, or return to the sacraments. Those kinds of things, however, are a fruit of God's grace, not my writing skill.
A Virus Out of China--in 1999?!Lately a few of you have written to me wondering how I came up with a virus out of China causing worldwide devastation in my third novel, House of Gold, way back in 1999. 'dunno. It just came to me. I am not a prophet, just a guy who daydreamed a lot when I was kid. All I know is that writing House of Gold took a lot out of me. In some ways, I believe it is my best novel. Oh how I miss those characters!
I get choked up just thinking about Buzz and Ellie and Sam. Why haven't you read House of Gold? Probably because I never bring it up. Or you don't like novels, which is okay by me. On the other hand, I wish I had a Chevy SS Camaro convertible for every reader who has told me they don't like novels, but really liked reading mine.
Read My Novels?So I am going to finally say it out loud: you might love all three of my novels. If you have read Pierced by Sword, my first, you will love Conceived Without Sin and House of Gold. They are wonderful gifts that have helped hundreds of thousands of people convert or grow in their faith.
So yes, please, order them when you order (or reorder!) our special new Coronavirus Prayer Cards. I poured my heart into each word in every sentence. For reasons I cannot fathom, other than that people pray for those who read them, it seems that God's grace works through them.
As I wrote weeks ago, the disease is fading fast as herd immunity builds all over the world. I will have more good news soon.
One Quote"You mustn't be sad. It is good to laugh a little."
-Saint Andre Bessette of the Oratory of Saint Joseph, Montreal, Canada
...all of us, tens of thousands of CatholiCity Citizens, together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...
Lord, I am not worthy to receive you,
only say the word and my soul shall be healed!
I miss you, Jesus. I miss Mass.
I miss praying with my fellow Catholics,
and the comfort of being surrounded by fellow sinners.
O Eucharistic Lord,
my faithful King of Silence
in all the Tabernacles in all the World,
hear the cry of my heart!
Let me come back to you!
Protect my beloved country and countrymen!
For the sake of your sorrowful passion,
have mercy on us and on the whole world!
Amen.
Unless you guys start complaining, I'll be back next week. Don't forget to laugh by watching that How It's Made at CatholiCity video. And okay, okay, you twisted my arm: it's okay share it with anyone.
I'm smiling at you right now. Can you feel it? Thank you for smiling back! (Yes, including you, the grumpy one. Come on, can you give me just one smile? Yes! There you go. Thanks.) I remain yours, as always, with...
Saint Augustine,
Bud Macfarlane
Founder
