Commentary by John Zmirak

Ding Dong, the Warlock's Dead
How we, as Catholics, should greet such news.

The Light that Scathes All Shadows
Some deeply sobering books of enduring value.

Holy Day on Ice
How are the rest of us meant to fill this bleak and seemingly endless day?

Disappointed by Truth
What about when we feel ourselves disappointed with God?

How to Train Your Gargoyle
In the spirit and much the same voice as The Screwtape Letters.

A Spoonful of Splenda
Humor flavors the rather pungent meat of Catholic metaphysics and morals.

Visit the Prisoner
Maybe it isn't the smartest thing to take men and break their spirits.

Jesus Recycles
The essence of Christianity is its technology for recycling.

The Dachshunds of Lent
A holy Lent to one and all.

Up from Literalism
A better philosophical understanding of language would be a "win" for the Church.

Arrest That Protestant Banker!
No prudent reason for Catholics to publicly question Live Action's tactics.

Cancel My Mental Reservations
Reaction to the recent expose of Planned Parenthood.

Wire Monkey Mother Nature
Implicit in the attitudes of contemporary Westerners are two fundamental heresies.

From Pat Buchanan to Rand Paul - What Have We Learned?
How can we avoid repeating the same idiocy?

Satan - A Tapeworm
The devil deserves no awe and should exert no fascination.

Is It Time to Heckle the Driver?
We have to trust him; what choice do we have?

Cain, Where Is Your Brother?
The year 2011 was born with the mark of Cain.

Frog-Marching Us into Sodom
My grimmest prediction has already come true. And it's only January 5.

What If Herod Wins?
What would the Nativity scene look like if it centered on an empty cradle?

I Don't Make the Natural Law, I Just Enforce It
There's nothing that quite says "Christmas" like schadenfreude.

Do You Renounce Kennedy and All His Works?
Treating basic truths of reason as if they were superstitions.

Stitching in Limbo
Why it's so tough to make today's feast meaningful.

A Time to Gloat
We must look for guidance to men who see further and deeper than we.

The Ghetto Is the Future
Groups that reject the childless norms of modern life will populate the world.

A Holy Fear of Man
Humanism depends on... revelation?

Is the Only Good Muslim a Bad Muslim?
A debate between two of the best writers on religion.

A Thumb in Leviathan's Eye
This week's election gives us some hope.

My High Holy Day
The brightest, best moment of the whole liturgical year.

Trojan Horsemeat
The "reasonable" proposals made by "reformers" are really a Trojan horse.

Calling Their Bluff
A ready response to ecological alarmists.

The Real Seamless Garment
"Don't Tread On Me!"

"Man Is a Featherless Biped"
In defense of G. K. Chesterton.

First Thing... Let's Kill All the Housecats
The inevitable outcome of Reason deprived of Faith.

Of Beauty, and Saying Goodbye
They have forgotten where, and how, to look.

Say No to the Ground Zero Victory Mosque
If we let them build it, 9/11 will have been the victory that they think it was.

The Miracle of History
A high-wire act performed with no net above the abyss.

What's Your Theological Deal-Killer?
Defying direct papal commands and ignoring the bishops he has appointed.

Summer Hedonism
Let's look at the reality of suffering itself.

Should We Tolerate Intolerance?
"The only good Muslim is a bad Muslim..."

Let's Admit the Worst about Each Other
Clear away the nonsense that takes up most of the time in political arguments.

A Pink Cloud Hangs Over Britain
Why should the pope wear protective breathing gear?

Just Say "No" to Brimstone
One thing real priests, with real vocations, are called to do.

In a State of Grace? Thank a Priest
These men are on the front lines of what can seem like a losing war.

From Europe to Eurabia
Shaping immigration policy for the Church around the world.

Creator Red in Tooth and Claw?
Really outrageous ideas that once threatened the Christian world.

Let's Pretend We're Jesuits in China
Fr. Ricci's mission casts light on preaching the gospel to alien cultures.

From Convent to Mosque... on Staten Island
The Reformation is one thing; the Islamic wars of jihad are quite another.

Telling Tales Out of School
"I'm sure that for most of them I was the crown of thorns..."

Adventures in Double Effect
The secondary implications of this case raise real questions worth debating.

"You May Hope Anytime You Like"
We are never meant to seek out suffering.

Fake Virtues Are Worse than Vices
We must relearn the fundamentals of Christian life in the light of justice.

Welcome the Stranger
What would it mean to take this biblical mandate seriously?

Can the Theological Virtues Eat the Natural Ones?
What are we to make of inexcusable behavior of men we might broadly admire?

The Rigorist Menace to Faith
The threats to the Church don't always arise where you expect them.

Are Patriots Apostates?
Disregard of American sovereignty undermines the principle of public order.

A Prayer, as We Persecute Ourselves
All roads converge at the cross of Christ, and no one is lost...

No Morphine on the Cross
Sometimes we must suffer evil rather than commit it.

Pass the Soylent Green
We're combining socialist coercion with corporate greed and price-fixing.

Bring a Friend In out of the Cold
"I'll mark mid-Lent by being pastoral - in the positive sense."

You May Kiss the Bridey
The "Bridey Effect" is evident in Hoopes's response to my piece on the liturgy.

John Zmirak Must Die
"Can't I just pick limbo?"

Everybody Loves a Secret
We all crave the mysterious, and hope to have its secrets opened to us.

All Your Church Are Belong to Us
Go back to Hell. Our Church belongs to Christ.

Sloth in Drag
Day in, day out, the same thing over and over again.

The Gordon Gekko Scale of Greed
We're ringed round with paradoxes, and the issues aren't simple.

The Generosity of Tolkien
The generosity of artists may yet work our redemption.

Test Your Envy
Pure Envy craves evil for its own sake.

Lilies that Fester - Spiritualized Envy
A surefire way to steer aspiring saints from holiness back toward hellfire.

Are You a Tree Sloth?
If you want to keep on being Martha, you'll need to spend some time with Mary.

Mao Tse-Tung's Greed for Mayhem
The most successfully evil man in history.

What's Your Lust Index?
A quiz meant to help you diagnose your soul.

The Wrath of Dogs
"The Gospel doesn't read, 'Blessed are the doormats.'"

Are You Temperate, Insensible, or Insatiable?
In case you're wondering how subject you are to gluttonous thoughts.

'Tis the Season for Temperance
We're each likely to struggle over the next few weeks with many temptations.

Stalin's Trollop - The Envy of Lillian Hellman
She ordered her conscience straight from Moscow.

A Most Diligent Mother - Angelica
The public face of the Church in the United States for the past two decades.

Andy Warhol's Art of Sloth
No man in history could equal Andy Warhol for turning crap into cash.

Gluttons for Power
François Mitterrand: Despotism in a modern, democratic setting.

How Vain Is Your Glory?
A thought experiment that will hone your skill at sniffing out the "vain."

The Vanity of Ayn Rand
An Olympic-level practitioner of the Deadly Sin.

Solzhenitsyn - Icon of Patience
Wisdom worth emulating.

Role Model for Wrath - Josef Stalin
The most appropriate name to illustrate undiluted Wrath.

A New Patron Saint for Chastity?
Queen Catherine of Aragon

Baptism Is Not an Economics Degree
Let's keep in mind that part of loving our neighbor...

Shall the Weak Inherit the Smurfs?
This is why we needed a Church in the first place.

Blessed Are the Sweaty
Diligence: Of all the virtues, it wears the least perfume.

Rescue Me?
I can't decide if my old friend is crazy or a saint.

Chastity - Silk Vestments and Fishnet Stockings
Faithfulness, openness to life, and self-sacrificing love between spouses.

Please Allow Me to Humiliate You
Humility isn't a virtue you're meant to boast about.

Liberality vs. 'Reality'
Doing just a little bit more than the minimum.

Conserve Your Liberality
Distortions to which the virtue of generosity is subject.

Put the 'Mag' Back in Your Animus
Perhaps the greatest soul in the history of Great Britain.

Magicians Trapped Inside Monkeys
University of Chicago to accommodate "transgender" students.

Sneaking Back into Eden
The preternatural gifts Adam lost were pretty impressive.

Your Life Is a Gift
There is only one statement in the encyclical that frankly troubles me.

Losing Your Temperance
Our soul will slacken and grow as flabby as a body overfed and underused.

Patience, for Christ's Sake!
We can suffer with many indignities if our eyes stay on the prize.

Praying with the Kaisers
A bittersweet love note to the Habsburgs.

Death's Hand on the Tiller
The soul is more significant than the body...

Our Lady on the Highway
The one I have the most trouble with is "turn the other cheek."

President David Duke's Appearance at Howard University
Satirical comments on commencement.

Smash the Secular State
Catholics serious about the defense of life are a variety of ways.

Bless Your Heart, Tramp!
The prevalence of abortion and its root causes in modern sexual behavior.

Anybody Need A Used Laetare Medal?
Accepting can only be seen as an endorsement of Notre Dame's decision.

But What about My Toys?
An insight into a spiritual issue I struggle with...

Psychomachia - Qu'est-ce Que C'est?
Introduction to "reflections on each of the Seven Contrary Virtues."

A Very Long Lent
...and more to come.

If You Must Drive Drunk, Please Wear a Seatbelt
Chances are you'll get home in one piece.

Brideshead Redecorated
Lush and musical prose conveys to us the intensity of perfect, lyrical moments.

The Prodigals and the Papa
Il Papa makes us positively long to embrace Big Daddy.

The Dark Night of the Civilization
Lent rains down on us now like bitter manna from heaven.

The Future of the Legion and the SSPX
What will Pope Benedict do?

Blood from a Stone
The influence of... the one who "roams the earth seeking the ruin of souls."

Accentuate the Purgative
Imagine how history would have turned out differently if man hadn't fallen.

Time for Pre-Canine Counseling
Hope that a loving Father will provide for our children and beagles a livable world.

My Non-Binding Resolutions for the New Year
In the same spirit as the brave acts of our legislative branch.

Christmas at the Veterinary Hospital
A blessed, beastly Christmas to one and all.

Envy - I See You in Hell
The passion that goaded Lucifer, who envied the Glory of God.

The Few, the Proud, the Damned
Pride and its many meanings.

Our Age's Reigning Sin - Now on DVD
This vice is misguided compassion.

Thank You, Lord, May We Have Another?
Tough times will test spoiled souls like mine. We've all got to pray for each other.

Greed Is for the Good
Man was meant to live forever with an unlimited supply of whatever he needs.

Kneeling Before the World
We have the bishops we deserve.

It Can Happen Here
Choices matter. In this election, they matter desperately. I wish they didn't.

God in the Belly
The sin of gluttony.

Massive, Disproportionate Retaliation
Hate the sin, love the sinner.

Lust for the Suburbs
...but that's why God made shotguns.

The Joy of Sloth
The polite term is Inerto-American...

How to 'Render' without Surrender
Archbishop Charles Chaput's Render Unto Caesar

We Regret to Inform You that Christ Is Risen
It's not like I make a habit of badgering those who don't share the gift of faith.

The Ale-Drinker's Answer to Hegel - Chesterton's The Everlasting Man
The convert nabs this narrative from 2,000 years ago and makes it new.

In Case of Rapture, This Executive Office Will Be Vacant
The Palin pick says good things about the balance of power within the GOP.

The Importance of Borders - Fixing the Immigration Crisis in 9 Steps
The bare minimum required to maintain our national security...

Render Unto Caesar - The Church and Immigration
"If you love your country so much, why did you leave it instead of fixing it?"

Blood in August - On Avoiding World War III
A War about Nothing.

Bastille Day - Baptism by Blood
Explosion onto the world of ideologies that would poison the next two centuries.

Bedrooms and Battlefields
Sometimes killing people really is as bad as sleeping with them.